Tuesday, July 11, 2006

The process continues...

Let me tell you that it was more painful than I imagined. Oh the grossness (is that a word?) that was brought to the surface. There are things about me that I thought had been removed from my heart a long time ago. However, the ugliness reappeared in such a way that I'm not sure which upset me more...the actual situation or the way I was reacting.

The thought of reading my Bible came to mind as a way to get peace. But I heard a lie from the enemy and believed it. So I continued to freak out and obsess over what I could not control and did not go to the source of true peace. :o(

Eventually I talked to Pattycat, who is always speaks Truth into my life. She reminded me that when you cut open a wound, all the nasty infection rises to the top. That's what was going on in my heart. YUCK!

Sunday morning's sermon was just for me. For the first time in years, I recognize my thirst for revival. I think I've been in a drought and didn't know it. Kind of like where I live. We've had a water ban in the summer for so long, I barely remember what it was like to water the grass in the summer on any day you want.

Obedience comes before blessing. I am in the "casting down idols" and "returning to God" part of obedience. Not doing it to get the blessing, unless you mean Him becoming my enough. Actually, it's not that He is incapable of being my sufficiency because 2 Corinthians 3:5 says that our sufficiency is of God. I have to let go of all the things that present themselves against the knowledge of Christ and trust Him with ALL my heart.

My first post said I am on fire for Jesus. Maybe that was a spark and not a flame. Whatever the case, my soul longs for Him like never before. I am thirsty for Jesus.

p.s. Thanks to those who have and are praying. God hears and responds!


Blogger Heather Smith said...

In the words of Toby Mac, "Catcha fire let it burn within."
That sounds like what you're doing to me. We had revival at our church a few weeks ago, and it was more than just meetings. It rekindled that fire in my heart. The concerts this weekend just fanned the flame more. I want to keep that fire! Great post, Red!

7/11/2006 8:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

still feel guilty huh?

7/14/2006 11:11 AM  
Blogger Red on Head...On Fire for Jesus said...

hmmm...I'm not sure what you mean. The Bible says in 1 John 1:9 that if we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us of all unrighteousness. Romans 8:1 says that there is no therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
Also the Bible says that when it is possible we should live at peace with all men. So I have been trying to be a person of reconciliation and peace for the past several months. Sometimes people forgive and sometimes they don't. That's between them and God. I am one heavy load to carry for those who don't forgive. HA HA
For clarification, the grossness I mentioned has to do with obsessive and analytical behavior which is not emotionally healthy.
So to answer your question...no, I don't feel guilty about anything. It is well with my soul...all because of Jesus.

7/14/2006 3:11 PM  

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